


Can't You See

by shishcabob22



Series: I Thought I Wouldn't Miss You (Until You Were Gone) [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 9x10, Angry Sam, Depressed Dean, Gen, POV Sam Winchester, Season 9
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 09:19:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14931510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shishcabob22/pseuds/shishcabob22
Summary: Tag to 9x10. Sam's thoughts as Dean runs out on him at the end of the episode.





	Can't You See

"Cmon, man, can't you see? I'm--I'm poison. Sam, people get close to me, they get killed, or worse."

Sam considered his brother. He was wrecked, clearly blamed himself for Kevin's death. _Good, at least he's taking responsibility for something._

And you know what? Dean was probably right. Everything they touched did die. Normally Sam wouldn't allow Dean to assign all the guilt to himself, but he was angry. Angrier than he'd been in years. So maybe a small part of Sam believed Dean deserved this guilt. For dragging Sam back to a life he was too tired for. For allowing him to be possessed.  For the lies.

For Kevin.

"And--and I tell myself that I help more people than I hurt. And I tell myself that I'm doing it all for the right reasons, and I believe that."

Sam couldn't believe it. After Kevin? After everything, Dean still thought his actions were justified, that he wasn't hurting more people than he was helping? Dean was only helping himself.

"But I can't--I _won't_ drag anybody through the muck with me, not anymore."

Dean was going to run out on him. First his brother dragged him back to life, and now he was going to leave him alone. Part of Sam was glad, wasn't sure he could handle being around Dean right now anyway. The other part of him was furious that his brother was going to abandon him. He decided to focus on that.

"Go. I'm not gonna stop you."

Dean looked slightly surprised, as if he had expected Sam to try to make him stay. _Well, that's what you get._  Dean seemed to be following a similar train of thought because he shot a quick look at Cas, resigned himself, and began walking towards the impala.

"But don't go thinking that's the problem cause it's not."

 No, Dean deciding he was the cause of the deaths of everyone they'd ever loved wasn't the problem. The problem was that Dean couldn't let Sam go. The problem was that Dean would give up the world, would sacrifice anything or anyone for his little brother.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

But he could never make Dean understand that.

"Just go."

So Dean went.


End file.
